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What to Do After You've Cheated On Your Husband
You may apply again later as a transfer student. Apply Freshmen — Columbus After you apply. If you don't feel comfortable telling him at home, Weiss suggests taking him to a public place you rarely go to for neutral ground somewhere such as a park where you can have some privacy, of course, not Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. Follow your husband's emotional lead after you break the news.
This disclosure has to be about him, not you, at this time. It's fair to tell him how and when it started, and how long things went on for—but beware of sharing nitty-gritty sexual details, even if he asks. You may have chosen to cheat in part because you resent your husband for things he's doing—or failing to do—in your relationship. Maybe you're sexually unsatisfied , or think he hasn't done his part to keep the spark alive.
It's possible he's even cheated himself previously and you're getting even, either consciously or subconsciously. Regardless, the fact remains that you, and only you, betrayed your husband's trust by acting on the urge to cheat. If you and your husband want to repair the rift between you, a professional can try to ensure you hear each other.
These issues include emotional distance, health changes, and stress outside of the marriage, she says.
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Your infidelity has made your husband feel bad, and that might be filling you with crushing guilt. But Weiss cautions against trying to make yourself feel better by essentially pressuring him to move past it. Try your absolute best to let him process his emotions in the days and months that follow, on his own timetable.
In the meantime, hold up your own end of the bargain by maintaining the no-contact rule with the person or people you cheated with. If that person is a coworker, keep necessary interactions all-business remember, no one-on-one texts or DMs! And even if you're afraid of becoming a villain in your in-laws' eyes, don't ask him to stay silent about your indiscretion.
Don't deny his right to seek therapy, and never demand that he deal with his feelings alone," Weiss says.
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It would cause him to feel even more impacted by your cheating. If honesty and communication are a chronic issue for the two of you, a marriage counselor may be able to help you devise techniques to improve your dialogue around tough topics.
Some people who cheat actually surprise themselves with an absence of guilty feelings, or they decide they've actually fallen for the other person. Others realize they've chosen infidelity as a possible escape chute out of their marriage. Alternately, a husband may ultimately decide he can't get over it and leave. All of these revelations are often followed by divorce , or to perhaps put it more optimistically, a new beginning.